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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart below show the rebenue from 5 industries in Togo in 2000 and projections for 2050. SUmmarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below show the rebenue from 5 industries in Togo in 2000 and projections for 2050. SUmmarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram depicts the total income generation of five industries in Togo for two years i.e. 2000 and their predicted amount for 2050. The unit of measurement is in billions of dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, semiconductor and real estate development are the only two sectors to show an increase, where the former is expected to dominate the market. In 2000, it was seen that soft beverages and information services led with each at 25$
billion
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, real estate development at 20
billion
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,
semi conductor
Add a hyphen
semi-conductor
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 started with merely 15
billion
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 and the least came from life
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
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 at 12
billion
Use synonyms
.
Semi conductor
Correct your spelling
Semiconductor
show examples
 was at the second
last
Linking Words
 position here. Coming to predictions about 2050,
semiconductor
Add an article
the semiconductor
show examples
 market is expected to have a sharp escalation with the maximum rise of about 115$
billion
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 in total. The only other industry
that is
Linking Words
 expected to show a minor rise is real estate of about 5$
billion
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both information services and life insurance will shrink to each
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10$
billion
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. Where
,
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apply
show examples
 the former will reduce by more than twice the amount earlier and the latter will show a loss of 2$
billion
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. But, Soft beverages is expected to remain constant as that of 2000. It is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
semi conductor
Correct your spelling
semiconductor
show examples
 will generate even bigger revenue than all combined in 2000.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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