IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people feel that animals should have the same rights as humans but other think they are not as equal or intelligent as us so should not have the same rights. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

There has been an ongoing debate over the topic that humans and
animals
Use synonyms
 should have the same rights. It is very hard to compare the human with an animal because god has given so many powers to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
which
Correct word choice
that
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 we cannot compare with
animals
Use synonyms
. People
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe that mankind and creatures should have the same rights because both have similar rights to live their lives and are beautiful creatures of god. But
animals
Use synonyms
 are very innocent and they are not like humans,
therefore
Linking Words
, people are hunting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their needs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, the number of forests has decreased rapidly,
thus
Linking Words
, it is very difficult for
animals
Use synonyms
 to find a habitat to live in.
Animals
Use synonyms
 are really
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
excellent gifts which
has
Verb problem
are
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 given by god and they are very decent. They should
also
Linking Words
 have the freedom to enjoy their life and people should not kill them for their personal uses. It is true that
animals
Use synonyms
 are not as similar and intelligent as human beings because
this
Linking Words
 is the difference between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 which
distiguish
Correct your spelling
distinguishes
both
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 from each other. If
animals
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 intelligent so there is no difference among them. Human has many
intellactual
Correct your spelling
intellectual
 powers like intelligence, strength and unique skills which
animals
Use synonyms
 do not have.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, humans have so many responsibilities and goals in their lives.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce both sides of the argument in the intro.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes your opinion.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points about rights and intelligence.
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
Your thoughts on the uniqueness of humans and animals are well noted.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ethical treatment
  • Cognitive functions
  • Hierarchy of rights
  • Ecosystems
  • Legislation
  • Species-specific
  • Sentience
  • Consciousness
  • Compassion
  • Cruelty
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