IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages？

A lot of young gays get impacted by
the
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
as
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of
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 the same
age
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 as them in their behaviours and situations, and that kind of habit has advantages way more than
the
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apply
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disadvantages. On the one hand, young
people
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 easily get impacted by the society around them
specially
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especially
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 their friends howes the same
age
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 as them, which they can learn good
behavior
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behaviour
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 from them, and
for
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in
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Add an article
a
the
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fact
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fact,
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 many children spend most of their time at school where they study, learn, and play with
people
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 as the same
age
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 as them, so they will easily influence from them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, peer pressure has many advantages
such
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 as copying
a
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good behaviour until it turns into a habit, like learning how to respect old
people
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 by observing the way that their friends act to them
such
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 as, how they talk to their mothers,
fothers
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fathers
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, or even someone they do not know after a period of time they will start to act like them. To summarize, peer pressure impacts in a good way on young
people
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,
this
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 is because copying good behaviours from
people
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 of the same
age
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 as them will turn
into
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apply
show examples
these actions into habits.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect sentences and ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points more clearly.
positives
You have identified both sides of the issue well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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