Many cities have installed cameras in public places in order to reduce crime. However, some people think that those cameras restrict our privacy. Do you think the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowdays
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Nowadays
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, some towns
putting
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put
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the camera
a camera
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camera
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cameras
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in
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on
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streets
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the streets
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,
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and other
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other area
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another area
other areas
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that in public to decrease the
violations
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number of violations
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.
This
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is because they want to make cities more safe
place
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places
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, and the advantages of
this
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system
is
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are
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more than the disadvantages.  Camcorder is
using
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used
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to record
every thing
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everything
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occurs
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that occurs
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in the streets and
different
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in different
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places,
this
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is can be more
comefortable
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comfortable
for parents and children that the
crimeres
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crimes
will
affried
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affirmed
from
do
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doing
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bad things.
That is
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whay
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why
the camera should be in every home, road, district and corner. To make people
more
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apply
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safe and feel
safety
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safe
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While
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others argue that using recording
machine
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machines
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is restrict
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restricts
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the freedom of communities.
That is
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why they hold the view
that is
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type
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a type
the type
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of invading the privacy of humans
how
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that
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will be recorded by digital cameras.
For example
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, some people do not like to save their specific private things like
faces
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the faces
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of their children or when they come back
to
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apply
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home or where will go. To summarize, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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the pros of
make
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making
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the places full of cameras
is outweigh
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outweigh
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the cons. The crime level will
be
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apply
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decrease and the persons who
thinking
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think
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that they will do
the
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apply
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violent
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violence
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for others leave the idea without doing it in real life.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to be clearer. You should state your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Try to provide more examples to support your points. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentences for grammar and spelling errors. This can make it hard to understand your ideas.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the conclusion, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • deterrence
  • apprehension
  • infringement
  • omnipresence
  • law enforcement
  • evidence gathering
  • privacy concerns
  • surveillance state
  • unwarranted surveillance
  • psychological impact
  • paranoia
  • crime investigation
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