IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world
education
Use synonyms
 is
fundamental
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a fundamental
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 aspect of our life . Some people believe that
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
 schooling is necessary till the age of 18
while
Linking Words
 others disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea . In
this
Linking Words
 essay ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will explain why
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
education
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 is necessary and provide
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 to support my position . On one hand ,
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
education
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 is vital for students around the age of 18 .
This
Linking Words
 is because it can enhance their skills in future and make them more capable .
For example
Linking Words
 , some countries like China , Korea and India produce amazing doctors
due to
Linking Words
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
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time
Use synonyms
education
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 in their curriculum .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 full
education
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 can improve our competence which will be essential in their adult life .
On the other hand
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 ,
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
education
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 might shrink their artistic talents .
This
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 is
due to
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non availability
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non-availability
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
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 , they
wont
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won't
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 be able to express themselves or show their talents in
other form
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another form
other forms
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 of
arts
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art
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. As
,
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apply
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an example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in highly intellectual students
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are behind when it comes to arts .
As a
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result
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result,
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 there would be
decline
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a decline
the decline
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of
Change preposition
in
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 artists in future . In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree we should have
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
education
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 . I believe students should be given
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to explore other activities which might benefit them in their future work .

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coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer outline of your main points in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas effectively (e.g., however, furthermore).
task achievement
Include more examples to strengthen your argument about the negative effects of full-time education.
task achievement
Clarify your conclusion and restate your main point clearly.
task achievement
You presented a good argument about the benefits of full-time education.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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