IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government is spending a lot of money discovering life on other planets. Some people think that governments are wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of the public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

there are many
problems
Use synonyms
 in the countries,
However
Linking Words
, The governments focusing on other things. the
quesion
Correct your spelling
question
 is, Some
people
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 think the
government
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 spending nurmous of
money
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 exploring
other
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
country
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is suffered
Wrong verb form
suffers
show examples
 from many issues. In my opinion, I believe governments have to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
priority to the issues in the
country
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to introduce the main idea that
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 my opinion. First of all. There are many
people
Use synonyms
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not want the
government
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give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
 attention to other
Use synonyms
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
show examples
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 they think is wasting of
money
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. the
people
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 said if the
money
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invested
Add a missing verb
was invested
show examples
 in the
country
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 we would solve all our issues.
for instance
Linking Words
,
China
Correct your spelling
the Chinese
show examples
government
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 used to invest
money
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to discover
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in discovering
show examples
other
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
show examples
planet
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,
However
Linking Words
, The community there do not agree with them,
therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
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is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 changed
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 priority to investing
money
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 to solve the
problems
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,
as a result
Linking Words
,
in
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apply
show examples
China now has solved most of their
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as unemployment.
However
Linking Words
, there are some
people
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 who want the
government
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 to discover other planets. They
blelieve
Correct your spelling
believe
 there is life there if we
discovered
Wrong verb form
discover
show examples
 enough.
moreover
Linking Words
, they think our
planet
Use synonyms
 is dangerous now and there are many wars around the
planet
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any time
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the governments use nuclear and destroy our
planet
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.
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that we will not be able to live in peace and good health. In conclusion, I would argue the
government
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 should
sove
Correct your spelling
solve
 the
problems
Use synonyms
 in the
country
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 first and
then
Linking Words
 they can invest
money
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 to
discovero
Correct your spelling
discover
 other planets. the community should have
other
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 to live in. Kim

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea is fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments and clarify your points.
task achievement
Proofread your work for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion and you tried to argue your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • public funding
  • inevitable
  • technological advancements
  • resource allocation
  • immediate public issues
  • scientific research
  • long-term benefits
  • cognitive development
  • expenditure
  • sustainable development
  • interdisciplinary
  • innovation
  • extraterrestrial life
  • investment priorities
What to do next:
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