IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages ?

Tourism
Use synonyms
 is crucial for any
country
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 to sustain their
economy
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. Keeping
this
Linking Words
 in mind, we are going to look at the
advanatges
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advantages
 and disadvantages of an increase in
tourism
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 in any
country
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. Looking at
this
Linking Words
 perspective that
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 is an important aspect of an
economy
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 we can support
this
Linking Words
 claim by weighing the benefits of
tourism
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 in a
country
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. When a
country
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 opens its gate for
tourism
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 it brings in an influx of people which results in higher demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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local
business
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businesses
show examples
 and an increase in the supply of
the
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apply
show examples
local products. Ultimately leading to a surge of money for the local
businessess
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businesses
 which can help in an
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economy
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economic
show examples
 boost and creating
employement
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employment
 for the people in the
economy
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 .
Simialrly
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Similarly
, it
also
Linking Words
 helps in promoting and showcasing one's culture,
its
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apply
show examples
traditions,
the
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apply
show examples
beauty and
the
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apply
show examples
hospitality the
country
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 has to offer
putting
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to put
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
 on the radar for better global relationships and a symbol for acceptance and diversity.
However
Linking Words
, when we look at the darker side of
tourism
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 we cannot ignore the fact that
human's
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humans
human
show examples
 pollute anything that they get their hands on. Pollution can be one main concern that can come with
tourism
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. The destruction of
hertiage
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heritage
 sites, the trash in the
country
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 and increased air and noise pollution can be one negative aspect of
this
Linking Words
 chapter.
To conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 debate, we can say that there are more positives of
tourism
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 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negatives. Better
employement opportunites
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employment opportunities
, Having a global impact, and
rising
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a rising
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economy
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 all
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
 in the direction of promoting
tourism
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Try to start with a strong statement or question to catch the reader's attention.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words to connect your thoughts better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of saying 'local businesses,' mention types of businesses or specific communities that benefit from tourism.
task achievement
You have clearly identified both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion neatly summarizes your main points, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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