There are more new towns being built nowadays. It is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As more new towns are being developed today, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that including public
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities is more important than building shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
areas offer long-term health and social benefits for individuals and communities. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
argue that shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are necessary because they provide convenience and entertainment. In today’s busy life, many
people
Use synonyms
enjoy spending their free time shopping, eating out, or watching movies at the mall. Shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
also
Linking Words
create jobs and support the local economy. Especially in new towns, they can attract
people
Use synonyms
and make the area more lively and modern.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that public
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities are more important.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they encourage a healthy lifestyle. When
people
Use synonyms
have access to green spaces and
sports
Use synonyms
areas, they are more likely to exercise, walk, or play
sports
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can help reduce health problems like obesity and stress.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these places are free and open to everyone, making them more inclusive than shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, where
people
Use synonyms
usually spend money.
In addition
Linking Words
,
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
areas help build a stronger community. Families, children, and the elderly can meet and spend time together in these spaces. They
also
Linking Words
improve the environment by offering clean air and natural scenery.
In contrast
Linking Words
, shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
often cause traffic and pollution. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are useful in modern life, I believe that public
parks
Use synonyms
and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities are more important for new towns because they improve health, social life, and the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the importance of parks and sports facilities. However, consider adding a brief overview of both sides in the introduction to enhance clarity.
task achievement
In the paragraph about shopping centers, you can give more specific examples of jobs created or types of entertainment available to strengthen your argument. This will make your ideas more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your points are easy to follow, but using linking words like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' can improve the flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph connects back to your main argument. For instance, remind the reader of your stance when you finish discussing shopping centers.
task achievement
Your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good logical structure in your essay, with each paragraph focusing on a clear idea.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: