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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Line graph)

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Line graph)
The line graph depicts
information
Use synonyms
 about the amount of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 a tourist
information
Use synonyms
 received in one city over a period of 6 months in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 were received in person and by telephone,
while
Linking Words
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
 of questions were received via letter or email.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of
enquiries
Use synonyms
gotten
Verb problem
made
show examples
 by the tourist
information
Use synonyms
 office
fluctuted
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 from January to June. There were 400
enquiries
Use synonyms
gotten
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in person
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in January before significantly rising to about 1980
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in June,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to letter or email
enquiries
Use synonyms
 which were approximately 790 in number at the beginning of the year before steadily declining to about 390
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in June.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by the tourist
information
Use synonyms
 office
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 telephone were about 900 and
this
Linking Words
 remained relatively stable at 1000
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in March and April before dramatically increasing to 1600 telephone calls
at the end
Linking Words
 of the 6-month period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words information, enquiries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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