IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Media coverage of violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Some people say it should be banned from newspapers and TV programmes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is said that paper-based information and broadcasted ones should be terminated from showcasing the
crime
Use synonyms
 story, as it reflects on the people for being fearful, and
also
Linking Words
 motivates criminals to keep in a hazardous mindset. Here I completely disagree with the given notion for which the reasons are articulated in the upcoming paragraphs. The prime reason for not taking
this
Linking Words
 into consideration is, that it gives awareness to innocent citizens to stay informed about the reason that the attack has taken place.
Additionally
Linking Words
, that keeps them to be into present and active for those who have chosen to live in nearby
crime
Use synonyms
 areas.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is explicitly observed that the majority of attacks are made in the downtown areas of the city like burglary and larceny. On the offender perception, those who belong to small categorised criminal get information about the crimes that others have committed, correspondingly the punishment they are given for the
crime
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 usually broadcasted helps them to keep into consideration the act thought of. Whilst, that news that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 read by
crime
Use synonyms
 committers, on or after imposing the punishment in terms of the lawful act makes them known and moral lessons.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it should not be banned as it helps people to protect themselves
while
Linking Words
 learning from media coverage.
Also
Linking Words
, it teaches lessons to criminals not to commit more serious felonies as one can be aware of the results of the
crime
Use synonyms
 that they have committed.

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task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by stating your opinion more directly.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly between sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the topic, which is a good start.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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