IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communications has had a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that the increased use of gadgets
such
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 as computers and mobile phones has contributed to a decline in
literacy
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 levels among the youth.
While
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 there might be benefits stemming from running personal
blogs
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 and playing text-based
games
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, I believe that
this
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 phenomenon is gradually eroding young people’s reading and writing
skills
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, leading to greater difficulties with punctuation and sentence structure
as well as
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 reduced attention span. With advances in technology and the rise of the internet, youth may be able to improve their
literacy
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 levels by creating their own
blogs
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 and engaging in educational
games
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 that offer opportunities to sharpen their writing
skills
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. When youngsters manage their own
blogs
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, they are expected to produce clear and well-organized posts to communicate effectively with their audience. In an attempt to express themselves more clearly, many blog owners actively work on their writing
skills
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 by studying grammar rules from textbooks or analyzing the style of other online content creators, which in turn enhances their reading comprehension. They might
further
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 develop
literacy
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skills
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 through interactive
games
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 aimed at improving players’ ability to interpret complex sentences and expand their vocabulary range.
Thus
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, when used purposefully, digital platforms can serve as essential tools to nurture reading and writing
skills
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 among today’s youth. Despite the opportunities digital tools may offer, I argue that increased dependence on computers and mobile phones is ultimately detrimental to the
literacy
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 levels of young people. In the virtual world, where speed is often prioritized over accuracy, basic grammar and punctuation rules are frequently neglected during casual conversations as long as the intended meaning is understood. In the long term,
this
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 habit can cause students to forget proper writing conventions and struggle to adapt to formal standards, which explains why many schoolteachers report that students struggle with punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 endless scrolling and the constant pursuit of quick dopamine fixes, children are finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on a single task for an extended period.
As a result
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, reading has become one of the least preferred pastimes among youngsters, which has led to a deterioration in their
literacy
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skills
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. In conclusion,
while
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 digital tools like educational
games
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 and
blogs
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 can offer some potential benefits for enhancing
literacy
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, the excessive and unstructured use of gadgets is more likely to hinder young people’s reading and writing development.
Therefore
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, it is essential to encourage more mindful and purposeful use of technology to prevent
further
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 erosion of core language
skills
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.

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coherence
Try to simplify some of your complex sentences for clearer communication.
task achievement
Include more specific examples in your paragraphs to support your points better.
task achievement
Strong introduction that clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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