IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some companies use major sports events for promoting their products. Some people believe that is a negative effect on sports. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, capital
companies
Use synonyms
 sponsor
sports
Use synonyms
 events in order to advertise and introduce their own products to audiences. Some individuals believe that it has a negative influence on
sports
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others support
this
Linking Words
 idea. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, some commercial
companies
Use synonyms
 advertise products harmful to health which leads to serious health issues including cardiovascular disease and that could lead to death.
For example
Linking Words
,Tobacco
companies
Use synonyms
 among others should not be allowed to sponsor match events. because the vast majority of fans are underage. So that’s why a group of people think that it has a passive effect.
In addition
Linking Words
, a company’s reputation can be too tightly linked to a player’s reputation. To illustrate, if a player does drugs or misbehaves it will have negative consequences on the company and vice versa.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think positively of
sports
Use synonyms
 sponsorship which will provide increased media exposure for a company and its brand. Commercial
companies
Use synonyms
 can link their name to successful players, and it might positively affect product sales.
For example
Linking Words
, many
companies
Use synonyms
 contracted with Cristiano Ronaldo who is a famous footballer to be a brand face for their products like Nike, Adidas, etc. In conclusion, after analysis of both points of view, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument
companies
Use synonyms
 sponsors
sports
Use synonyms
 for advertising purposes have numerous drawbacks to
sports
Use synonyms
. The
sports
Use synonyms
 ministry must ensure steps are taken to monitor advertisements and sponsors to provide community stability.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly linked and flow smoothly from one to the next. Try to use linking words to help with this.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and details to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • products
  • major
  • sports
  • events
  • positive
  • negative
  • viewers
  • advertisements
  • funding
  • sponsorship
  • entertainment
  • competition
  • visibility
  • commercialization
  • athletes
  • performances
  • support
  • facilities
  • audience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: