IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that several short holidays from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

Nowadays, some citizens believe that several short holidays from school are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better,
while
Linking Words
 other people think that one long summer holiday for the year is more good for children. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will illustrate my opinion with examples. I believe taking a long summer holiday will be
beneificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for the children for many reasons. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some people think that
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 few of the holidays
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 better.They think
this
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 will give the student a
litti
Correct your spelling
little
 bit to take
breath
Add an article
a breath
show examples
 and to relax.
Also
Linking Words
, it will assist them to be more
focusing
Replace the word
focused
show examples
 in their learning.
For example
Linking Words
,

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language
Work on proper sentence structure and grammar. Phrases like 'more better' and 'more good' should be corrected to 'better' and 'good' respectively.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clear examples for your points. The example you intended to use was left incomplete.
coherence and cohesion
Add a conclusion that sums up your views clearly, as it helps to strengthen your essay.
content
You have clearly stated your opinion in the introduction, which is a good start.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • burnout
  • rejuvenated
  • quality time
  • family experiences
  • uninterrupted break
  • hobbies
  • engage
  • disengage
  • structure of school
What to do next:
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