IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I agree that it is almost impossible to be a responsible
tourist
Use synonyms
 because tourism is primarily driven by profit. Tourists often prioritize entertainment, spending, and exploration over protecting the environment or preserving local culture.
Moreover
Linking Words
, human activity always leaves a trace,
such
Linking Words
 as carbon emissions from transport, waste generation, or disruption of cultural sites.
For example
Linking Words
, many tourists have carved into and graffitied the walls of the Great Wall of China, showing a lack of respect for historical monuments.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that not all tourists are sufficiently aware or educated to behave responsibly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, large crowds at
tourist
Use synonyms
 destinations make it difficult to manage and regulate
tourist
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in many cases, becoming a truly responsible
tourist
Use synonyms
 remains a challenge.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could provide more background information on why responsible tourism is important.
task achievement
Try to include a paragraph that presents opposing views to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'also', and 'for instance' to make your ideas connect better.
coherence cohesion
Include a short conclusion summarizing your main points to give the essay a strong finish.
task achievement
You made a clear point about the impact of tourism on the environment and culture.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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