IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

Without a shadow of a doubt, animal extinctions are an alarming stage in the current era. Some contend to only protect creatures that are useful for humans. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective and we should protect all
species
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 rather than only a few. One school of thoughts hold that only useable
animals
Use synonyms
 should be protected. The main reason why I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion is that bio-diversity will fluctuate and other
species
Use synonyms
 will not survive because all
animals
Use synonyms
 have a role in humans and each other life.
For instance
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of bats
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 decreasing rapidly and they eat insects. So, if
this
Linking Words
 creature sees extinction it means that the figure of insects will incline and they will destroy crops which will lead to economic decline.
That is
Linking Words
 why, one animal's loss will accompany many problems. The opposite side of thought says that all creatures of nature should be protected. The strong multitudes of reasons they claim
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 that protection of all the
species
Use synonyms
 will make a balance of biodiversity on our globe.They think any
animals
Use synonyms
 are not useful
while
Linking Words
 every animal can be useful at any moment in future.
Thus
Linking Words
, to protect these
species
Use synonyms
 we have to stop deforestation, pollution and unusual burnings.
Hence
Linking Words
, all types of
animals
Use synonyms
 are useful in either way.
To conclude
Linking Words
, after analyzing both views I agree with the latter paragraph because without
animals
Use synonyms
 there will be no human survival. So, it is our responsibility to cut these methods and make our future better.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure your main points are clear and easy to understand.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Check if all your sentences directly relate to your main argument.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow from one idea to another.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: