IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude towards wearing trendy clothes, a positive or negative development

Without any qualms, more individuals consider that wearing glamorous
clothes
Use synonyms
 is imperative in recent times.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive attitude because it enables the enhancement of one's personality and contributes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth. The primary reason why it is crucial to wear trending outfits is that it enhances the personality of an individual which in return helps him to upgrade his standards of dressing. To fortify
further
Linking Words
, wearing elegant clothing enables one to express decency and taste
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing
clothes
Use synonyms
. The trendy piece of clothing has become a symbol of status for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 which they wear updated styles of
clothes
Use synonyms
 in order to flaunt their styling.
Also
Linking Words
, being
well dressed
Add a hyphen
well-dressed
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 in professional life facilitates
to attain
Change the verb form
attaining
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 the dominant position in the workplace.
Hence
Linking Words
, it helps one to develop his unique identity in the society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 practice results in
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy as buying new
clothes
Use synonyms
surge
Correct subject-verb agreement
surges
show examples
 the sales of
garment
Add an article
the garment
show examples
 industry, making it a profitable market. The introduction of newer trends
influence
Change the verb form
influences
show examples
 buyers to buy stylish attires by which companies make huge profits.
For instance
Linking Words
, Vietnam is the leading
clothes
Use synonyms
 manufacturing
country
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 whose government implemented several policies to improve the textile industry and make influential
clothes
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 which resulted in
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 GDP and its
overall
Linking Words
 advancement. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, it created more jobs for the citizens and improved the condition of the nation by bringing immense wealth by selling elegant clothing. In conclusion,
tendency
Add an article
the tendency
show examples
of wearing
Change preposition
to wear
show examples
 fashion-influenced
clothes
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive progress as it promotes
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 personality and increases
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of the
country
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Clarify your main ideas more clearly in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea effectively.
cohesion
Use more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
content
You presented some interesting ideas about fashion and economy.
structure
Your essay structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fashionable
  • important
  • clothes
  • attitude
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • express
  • personality
  • creativity
  • industry
  • jobs
  • economy
  • opportunities
  • pressure
  • trends
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • consumerism
  • waste
  • overspending
  • environmental
  • pollution
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