Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

It is quite obvious that young individuals learn intellectual and social life from influence. One group of people say

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

parents

Correct word choice

that parents

show examples

play an important role

for

Change preposition

show examples

adolescence

while

Linking Words

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

side

think

Correct subject-verb agreement

thinks

show examples

that teachers have more authority

for

Change preposition

over

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

development. There are compelling reasons why people back the idea of parents contributing to the growth of personality among kids. The prominent one is youngsters tend to absorb personality from other people.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if a family has

disabled

Correct article usage

a disabled

show examples

person, the child will mirror the exact same habit and apply

Correct pronoun usage

it on

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

themselves.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, parents provide individualized attention and support that

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

due to

Linking Words

the number of students, often cannot.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, teachers are one of the major parts

Change preposition

show examples

teenagers' influence. The dominant factor is,

students

Correct word choice

that students

show examples

spend most of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time in schools or institutions.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they learn new skills. In classes, they provide

structured

Add an article

a structured

show examples

learning environment which helps toddlers to be more confident. Schooling grows moral values among individuals

besides

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

providing

feedbacks

Fix the agreement mistake

feedback

show examples

for academic mistakes.

For instance

Linking Words

, if

tutor

Add an article

the tutor

a tutor

show examples

is supporting and helping a community for betterment

then

Linking Words

obviously, the child

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

couraged about doing the same things. To infer, I completely agree with the

last

Linking Words

view because it has more contribution compared to

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

as provided information above.

hargunjot2007

Jul 3, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Add more examples to support your points and make your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion.'

positive

You provided a good comparison between the influence of parents and teachers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

208 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Suggestions & mistake analysis
Find every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

Topic Vocabulary:

Structured learning environment
Cognitive skills
Social interactions
Pedagogical techniques
Moral values
Emotional well-being
Complementary roles
Academic and social education
Individualized attention
Life skills training

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, people are more into learning for work rather than going for the traditional method of learning. Many believe that children's education should focus more on practical skills than learning math and science as a subject. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and conclude why modernizing education will be better.
6.5
band
You are planning to spend a weekend at a hotel with your family. Write a letter to the hotel making the arrangements. Include the following: – when you want to arrive and leave – explain the type of rooms you would like and ask how much they will cost – ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel
I am writing to let you know that I have a planned vacation scheduled with my family to fly to Hawaii. While browsing through some options on the internet, we finalized on accomodating at your beautiful hotel. We will be arriving on Friday, the 3th of July and flying back on Sunday 5th.
6
band
More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or a negative development.
In present times, there is an increase in the number of chores and missions in the workplace being done by robots. The author of this essay strongly believes that this is a positive development since it can boost the economy as well as improve the living standard for residents.
6
band
In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governments should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. This essay agrees that a higher rate of tax should be paid by fast-food companies. Firstly, alcohol and tobacco companies already pay higher taxes and secondly, higher taxes could raise prices and lower consumption.
7
band
Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, many young people are forced to participate in jobs that they dislike or are not good at. There are many explanations for this phenomenon, and I believe that this issue may have some drawbacks.

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or a negative development.

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.