IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Unfortunately,
traffic
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 has been increasing all over the world. So, it is a crucial issue in every society, which is not solved yet. Experts offer different opinions and one of them is the growth of gas fees.
As a result
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, from my point of view, decreasing the
traffic
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 or
pollution
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 problems will not happen necessarily because it depends on other factors.
For example
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,
transportation
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 systems or factories.
According to
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this
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 idea, some individuals may say increasing the gas
cost
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 helps reduce
traffic
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 or
pollution
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 issues. Because, in
this
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 way, people may use less own cars in travelling or moving in a city and they use public
transportation
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 more.
While
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 increasing the
petrol
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 fee directly affects the
cost
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 of many other necessary things.
For instance
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, the
cost
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 of public
transportation
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 (taxis, buses, or subways), or even food materials. Because they are sent all over the cities, so, it is not the best way to use fewer private cars.
In addition
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, factories will have to pay huge
money
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 for primary materials of products by increasing the gas price. So, they may not spend
money
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 to find the best way to prevent the
pollution
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 problems which they produce. Another point can be
petrol
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 smuggling. The more the
cost
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 of
petrol
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 increases, the more gasoline smuggling rises. Because many people’s jobs may be related to gasoline.
Therefore
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, they cannot spend a large amount of
money
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 to buy expensive
petrol
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. So, they resort to smuggling it to get more
money
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.
To conclude
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, increasing the price of
petrol
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 increases a lot of other stuff
consequently
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. It is not only the best solution for using more public
transportation
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 than private cars, but
also
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, it is not the best solution for
traffic
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 or
pollution
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 problems. Because
petrol
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 is just one item that affects air
pollution
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Ensure to further develop and elaborate your ideas, providing more specific examples and clearer arguments to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and improve the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue, discussing relevant points such as the impact on public transportation costs and factory expenses.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in summarizing the main points and providing a coherent structure overall.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • discourage
  • incentivize
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • pollutants
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable economy
  • disproportionately affect
  • daily commuting
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • comprehensive solutions
  • public transportation systems
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