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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph displays the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a certain Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2010 and 2017. The
island
Use synonyms
 enjoyed a significant increase in tourism within these 8 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can be seen that even though staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 was more popular until 2015,
traveler
Fix the agreement mistake
travelers
show examples
 slowly opted for staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships more. The popularity of the
island
Use synonyms
 increased a huge amount. It reached 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 guests in 2017 compared to 1
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2010. 2010 to 2012 it saw a steady increase
while
Linking Words
 from 2012 to 2016 the flow fluctuated, but it saw a very steep increase of half a
million
Use synonyms
 in the time period between 2016 to 2017. With around 0.75
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 the
island
Use synonyms
 accommodation was more popular among
visitors
Use synonyms
 than
cruise
Use synonyms
 accommodation (0.25
million
Use synonyms
).
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 after both of the settlements
seeing
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
 ups and downs, they reached the same level
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the middle of 2015, both reaching 1.4
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we can see travellers preferred
Use synonyms
cruise
Wrong verb form
cruising
show examples
 more than
island
Use synonyms
 stay.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2017
Add a comma
2017,
show examples
 the
cruise
Use synonyms
 and
island
Use synonyms
 stay rose to 2
million
Use synonyms
 and 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, cruise, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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