Expert say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with their family and friends, whereas, now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

#expert #people #exercise #time #friends #loneliness #health

In contemporary society, a prevailing belief suggests that older

individuals

were purportedly happier and healthier in the past

due to

increased physical

activity

and stronger social bonds.

Conversely

, today's elderly population faces challenges

such

as loneliness and health issues.

This

essay will delve into the causes behind

this

shift and propose potential solutions to mitigate these concerns. One primary cause is the sedentary lifestyle prevalent in the modern era. Unlike in the past, where physical

activity

was a natural part of daily life, advancements in technology have led to a decrease in manual labour and an increase in sedentary behaviours.

Consequently

this

lack of exercise contributes to health problems among the elderly. To address the issue of declining physical

activity

, governments and communities should promote active lifestyles among the elderly.

This

can be achieved through subsidized fitness programs,

community

sports events, and public awareness campaigns emphasizing the importance of regular exercise for

overall

well-being.

Moreover

, societal changes have impacted the traditional family structure. In the past, older

individuals

were surrounded by extended family members, fostering a strong support system.

However

, the trend towards nuclear families and increased mobility has resulted in geographical separation, leaving older

individuals

more susceptible to loneliness. In tackling the problem of social isolation, initiatives must be taken to strengthen

community

bonds.

Community

centres can serve as hubs for social activities, offering workshops, group events, and support networks for the elderly.

Additionally

, intergenerational programs that encourage interaction between older and younger generations can foster meaningful connections. In conclusion, the perceived decline in the happiness and health of older

individuals

in contemporary society compared to the past can be attributed to a sedentary lifestyle and changes in family structures. To reverse

this

trend, concerted efforts are needed to promote physical

activity

and build stronger

community

connections. By implementing these solutions, we can strive towards a future where the elderly can enjoy both physical well-being and enriching social relationships.

Submitted by amaliasekar30 on Tue Feb 13 2024

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cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point of that paragraph. This helps to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

Enhance your argument by integrating more specific examples and detailed evidence. For instance, you could include statistics or findings from reputable studies to support your points regarding the health benefits of exercise and the impacts of social isolation.

coherence

To improve coherence, make sure to use a wide range of linking words effectively to connect ideas within and across paragraphs. This includes words that show cause and effect, contrast, and addition. Also, revisit the use of these connectors to ensure variety and correctness.

cohesion

In your conclusion, aim to succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate the significance of the proposed solutions. This recapitulation helps to reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Expert say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with their family and friends, whereas, now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

. Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their home for work. Do you think, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. Obesity affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How can it be tackled?