IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People nowadays are buying wider range of household things (for example television, rice cooker) than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? #people #range #household #television #rice #cooker #development

These days, some individuals are purchasing a wider range of
household
Use synonyms
 devices,
such
Linking Words
 as televisions and rice cookers, compared to the past.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective,
this
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 type of development tends to be helpful for
people
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 with busy lifestyles in order to preserve their leisure
time
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;
nevertheless
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, it could lead to a loss of traditional
skills
Use synonyms
.
Due to
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 the fact that
people
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 are working daily to be competitive in the job market, they are buying devices, which is an effective way to reduce the
time
Use synonyms
 spent on either cooking dinner or cleaning the house.
Moreover
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, these tools help them maintain a work-life balance.
This
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 use of modern technologies creates almost ideal
time
Use synonyms
 management.
For instance
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, in many urban families where both parents work full-
time
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 jobs, appliances like dishwashers and automatic washing machines are essential. Without them, they would have to spend hours daily on housework, which could affect their ability to rest or spend
time
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 with their children.
However
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, the daily use of
household
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 items and gadgets can lead to a loss of traditional
skills
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.
Consequently
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can forget how to do simple things
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning and cooking.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if members of society use them every day, they will become dependent on the assistance of these tools.
This
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 dependency on technology reduces basic
household
Use synonyms
skills
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.
According to
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 recent research, approximately 60
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of
people
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already
Rephrase
apply
show examples
cannot imagine doing
household
Use synonyms
 chores without using modern technologies. In conclusion, these tools can be invaluable for individuals who have busy lifestyles;
however
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, they are
also
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 likely to contribute to a loss of traditional
skills
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure your essay clearly explains both sides of the argument in each paragraph. This will help strengthen your points.
coherence
Use clearer links between sentences and ideas. This improves the flow of your writing.
coherence
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outlines your view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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