Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
one school of thought holds that only elite
students
should be rewarded, others are adamant that it is even more important to
reward
those who have made progress. These views are not mutually exclusive and make tremendous sense in their own rights, so they should be adopted simultaneously. Granted, one might argue that only
students
with outstanding academic performance should receive
rewards
.
This
is predicated on the assumption that these
students
have worked more diligently, and justifiably earned the
rewards
.
This
reward
scheme, so the argument goes, can
also
encourage other
students
to exert themselves more to win the
rewards
,
hence
overall
academic gains across the board. It is
also
true that
this
winner-take-all kind of competition exists in all aspects of life, so schools should expose young people to
this
reality to best equip them for the real world.
However
, supporters of giving
rewards
to those who show signs of improvement justify their position by citing the potential stultifying effects on slower
students
that the winner-take-all
reward
scheme might have. They say that
instead
of feeling motivated to work harder, slower
students
might simply feel that they can never surpass those outstanding individuals and lose the incentive to study.
Furthermore
, placing more emphasis on improvement is arguably healthier than the competitive spirit to win against all others.
This
is because the latter relies entirely on external factors, as seen in how top
students
often feel complacent after winning certain
rewards
,
while
the constant desire to improve themselves can remove
this
sense of complacency and works in everyone’s case regardless of how well they are doing academically. In conclusion,
while
there are justifications to exclusively
reward
students
who achieve the best academic results or those who show improvements.
However
, I am convinced that both initiatives are useful in their own ways and should both be adopted.
Submitted by hungn61001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To achieve higher scores in Task Response, ensure you delve deeper into each viewpoint. Adding more examples or evidence can further substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing its logical structure. To boost this further, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly with clear, linking phrases.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views regarding the rewarding of students.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with well-defined paragraphs and a coherent progression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: