IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my opinion,the personal
lives
Use synonyms
 of any public figure should not be published in any media and
therefore
Linking Words
 should not become the reason for scrutiny for the public.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 could endanger the
lives
Use synonyms
 of the
politicians
Use synonyms
 and their loved ones. Everyone has a right to live a life on their terms,whether it be a movie star or a politician. Many people often believe that since
politicians
Use synonyms
 work for the public,they don’t have a life of their own.
For example
Linking Words
, in India ,if a politician marries somebody older or younger than
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, it becomes a topic of national debate , which is very incorrect.Rather than focusing on their work , people start interfering in their personal
lives
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,if newspapers start publishing about the
lives
Use synonyms
 of
politicians
Use synonyms
, it could affect the security of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.It could lead to an increase in threats and violence targeting their family members.
For instance
Linking Words
,if the media releases information about the
politicians
Use synonyms
’ children and
Correct article usage
the in
show examples
in which educational institutes
Correct word order
educational institutes in which
show examples
 they are pursuing their education, it could endanger their
lives
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,the media should not release personal information about the
politicians
Use synonyms
 because they have a right to privacy , and it could threaten their
lives
Use synonyms
 and those of their loved ones

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task achievement
Try to provide more examples to support your arguments. You can add specific cases or studies that show the impact of media on politicians' lives.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Words like 'firstly', 'additionally', and 'in conclusion' can help connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Consider adding more depth to your points. For instance, explain why people feel curious about politicians' lives and the effects of this curiosity on society.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion, setting a strong foundation for your essay.
task achievement
You raised important points about privacy and safety regarding politicians' personal lives, which are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrusion
  • accountability
  • transparency
  • sensationalism
  • privacy
  • public interest
  • collateral damage
  • precedent
  • responsible journalism
  • exploitation
  • democratic processes
  • media culture
  • balance
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