IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Moving factories from large cities to rural areas is the best way. Extent with the statement disagree and agree.

Nowadays, it has been argued that the best way to tackle the problem of traffic congestion and housing in urban areas is by moving large industries and manufacturing with their workers to the countryside.From my point of view
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,
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l absolutely disagree with the statement
due to
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 the damage which will happen to the environment in the area. In
this
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 essay, I will support my opinion by showing the drawbacks. One of the main disadvantages of taking the business facilities to the rural areas is that it will cause issues for the local people.
This
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 means they will not only experience the traffic ,but
also
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 all kinds of pollution,
such
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 as air pollution, noise even water pollution.
Moreover
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, they used to live in a quiet place and a healthy lifestyle, if they are moving that to them, their citizens' lives will be ruined ,and they may get angry so which could cause a massive strike.Take China as an example 2000, they had a significant increase in traffic jams because of the lorries for manufacturing
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,
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then
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t
Correct your spelling
they
 failed to address
this
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 by moving the location to the
country
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 ,and
finally
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,the issue was solved ,but the
country
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's
people
Fix capitalization
People
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 were not happy. Another negative to support that the worst solution is that the crops might be ruined in the future .
As a result
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, the
country
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 will see a dramatic drop in the number of harvesters . Despite the fact that people will face a real starvation , the other cities around the
country
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 will see a rise in the natural proudest as they are becoming rare . In conclusion, having looked at the topic in detail , on balance,
this
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 method had more negative than positive
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effects,it
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,
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;
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it is true that the problem will disappear in the capital city , but it will cause it in other states. In my opinion, it is a wild idea to make it so
l
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. l
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hope the government think of other ways.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your main argument. For example, mention your opinion about moving factories in a more direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your points better. Each paragraph should have a clear main point that connects to your opinion.
task achievement
Use more examples that relate clearly to your argument. This helps to show why you feel the way you do.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay for grammar and punctuation errors. This will make your writing easier to read.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion throughout the essay.
task achievement
You raised important issues like pollution and the quality of life for local people.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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