IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research business and the academic world others believe that some information is too important or do valuable to be shared freely discuss both views and give your opinion

There is an ongoing debate about whether disclosing as much
information
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 as possible in various fields
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such
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, such
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 as scientific research, business, and the academic
world
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world,
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 is beneficial,
while
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 others argue that some of the
information
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 is too sensitive or valuable to be shared openly.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, the primary argument supporters put forward is that it is essential to share
information
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 in detail to spread awareness and knowledge among people.
For example
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, on the
packaging
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packaging,
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 each component should be mentioned
along with
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 its quantity from which it has been made to inform consumers about
it
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it,
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 because some people may get an allergic reaction to those ingredients.
Moreover
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, sharing
information
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 plays a vital role in innovation and development in most areas
like
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, like
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 education, research, and
information
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 technology
because
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, because
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 it can provide a better understanding.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter view have their own arguments.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 privacy concerns
;
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,
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 sensitive data should be kept private as it can be misused by other individuals or
organizations
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organisations
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.
Furthermore
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, if all
information
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 is
published
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published,
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then
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 it is difficult to regulate patents and copyrights.
Also
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, in research and
business
Add a comma
business,
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 it is not possible to disclose
each
Correct determiner usage
all
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of
Change preposition
apply
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the
information
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 as their ideas can get copied by other competitors.
To conclude
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 and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for and against
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sharing
information
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.
However
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, I certainly favour the latter side as the rights and misleading of
information
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 can
are
Wrong verb form
be
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 negative points for sharing without any regulations.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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