IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Countries
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 become more and more similar in
product
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 diversity because of transportation developments, and
people
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 can buy the same
products
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 anywhere in the
world
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. In my opinion,
access
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 to the same
products
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 has a lot of advantages. On the one hand, using the same
products
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 may cause many harmful effects on local industries. When huge
companies
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 can export their
product
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 to all of the
countries
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 in the
world
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, they gradually become wealthier.
As a result
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, smaller and local
companies
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 become more vulnerable and are going to die. Big
companies
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 reduce their expenses by mass production, and smaller
companies
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 can't compete with them. By
this
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 approach, many local shops have to close inevitably.
For example
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, Chinese
companies
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 export their
product
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 all over the
world
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 and they have a lot of fans everywhere. In Iran, there were many shoe maker
companies
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 which they were forced to close because of the price differences.
On the other hand
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, in global prices and quality competition,
companies
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 strive to make satisfying
products
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 for
people
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 all over the
world
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 have
access
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 to high-quality yields everywhere in the
world
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.
Also
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, when a company make a new
product
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 by new technology, they can offer it to other
countries
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, and
people
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 have the same right and
access
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 to the latest
products
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.
For instance
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, Elon Musk invented a new low-priced cellphone with
access
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 to the Starlink internet. His target is to export it to all
countries
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 can use global high-speed internet with a high-quality, low-priced cellphone. In conclusion,
although
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 using the same
products
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 in the
countries
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 has its drawbacks,
such
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 as smaller
companies
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 shutting down, there are more advantages, like
access
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 to the latest technology with good qualities and prices all over the
world
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your ideas are supported with a variety of examples relating to the topic throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to another. Use linking words to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Clarify your main argument more strongly in the introduction to make it clearer.
content
You have identified both positive and negative points effectively.
content
Your conclusion summarizes the main ideas well and presents a clear opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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