Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

Despite knowing about the importance of sports for a long time, people still neglect exercising, especially the elderly, and they may face the consequences in the future if society had not encouraged them to train regularly.
This
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essay will examine the causes of not exercising enough and what can be done to solve
this
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issue. The two main causes of neglecting workouts are not wanting to join gyms and living in an unmotivating and lazy environment.
Firstly
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, the elderly think that putting in a huge effort to be consistent in their gym memberships is a difficult responsibility to handle. Not only that, but
also
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old people usually feel lazy and tired
due to
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their environment.
In addition
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, they really enjoy lying down and watching their favourite TV shows.
Moreover
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, they like spending their time on gatherings and friends' meetings. Some possible solutions to
this
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problem are advising them by planning events that include topics related to exercising benefits.
For instance
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, enlighten the importance of regularly joining marathons on weekends.
Furthermore
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, family members should
also
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participate in sports activities
such
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as running on the beach and swimming.
However
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, I believe encouraging older individuals to work out more and paying attention to their health in general is a very thoughtful thing to do.
Finally
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, society should provide them with a free annual membership to one of the sports centres near their homes.
To conclude
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, society and every individual have a huge impact on the older people's community.
Therefore
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, they should keep reminding them of the beneficial sides that the workouts hold.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Clearly state the main points in the introduction and conclude with a brief summary of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments, especially in the causes and solutions sections.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, each focusing on one main idea related to the topic.
Task Achievement
You have identified the main causes and some solutions related to the issue of elderly exercise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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