IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a lot of countries have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
death
Use synonyms
punishment
Check wording
penalty
show examples
 used on drug dealers,smugglers,killers,
kidnappers
Correct word choice
and kidnappers
show examples
.And some countries don’t have the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 but have something similar
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is the life sentence penalties which an inmate is jailed for
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 whole life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
criminals
Use synonyms
 are humans and they deserve to live life like everyone else
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
 some
criminals
Use synonyms
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
crosses
Correct subject-verb agreement
cross
show examples
 the line.The use of
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 will make other
criminals
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
think twice before
doing
Verb problem
committing
show examples
 a crime
due to
Linking Words
 the fact if the crime is done he or
she
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will
get killed
Verb problem
be executed
show examples
 for doing so.Another advantage of the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 is
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease in jail expense, no need to feed them or house them
nor
Punctuation problem
, nor
show examples
 treat them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sometimes a
crimnial
Correct your spelling
criminal
 is innocent and gets the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there is no going back
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I think
this
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
is a major disadvantage
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 unless there is a fair court and a fair
judege
Correct your spelling
judge
.Another thing,a lot of
criminals
Use synonyms
 are part of a family and are responsible for them receiving
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 and having to be responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the family is another disadvantage because some
criminals
Use synonyms
 have little kids who need to see their dad or mom
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 usually takes care of them. Taking everything into
consedration
Correct your spelling
consideration
, I advocate the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 because of how
serious
Replace the word
seriously
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
 will view their crimes and hopefully stop them
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 doing or trying to.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly outline your main points and opinion. Make sure to state both sides of the argument before giving your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to reinforce your points. Instead of general statements, think of real-life cases or statistics that can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is important for discussing a topic like this.
task achievement
Your points about the financial aspects of the death penalty are interesting and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advocates
  • Capital punishment
  • Contemporary society
  • Violent crimes
  • Deterrence
  • Retribution
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Imprisonment
  • Innocent
  • Unethical
  • Inhumane
  • Misuse
  • Legal systems
  • Heinous crimes
  • Closure
  • Moral concerns
What to do next:
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