IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

*Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other. To what extent do you agree with this idea? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In
this
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 day and age, it is widely debated that
tourism
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 is the major key that allows citizens of different regions to acknowledge each other. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
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 viewpoint
due to
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 various factors On the one hand, It is clearly seen that
tourism
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 plays an indispensable part in daily life nowadays.
Initially
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, it allows dwellers to travel from city to city,
country
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 to
country
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.
Therefore
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, tourists are able to get a deeper insight into a particular culture of a region.
In addition
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, they can acknowledge the
specialty
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speciality
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 and uniqueness of different
customs
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 around the world, which assist them in broadening their mind to a new horizon. Another factor to concern is that
tourism
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also
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 supports people from different backgrounds in exchanging resources and experiences with each other.
Consequently
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, it significantly helps enrich the cultural value of an area by importing valuable traditions from other regions.
On the other hand
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, there are multiple elements that contradict the positive side.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 globalization and the demand of people to discover other cultures, various
customs
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 from other areas will be imported into a
country
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 through
tourism
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.
Hence
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 these have the potential to replace the historical and conventional values that have existed for a long period.
As a result
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, these traditions will vanish if there are no solutions from the governments to protect the old
customs
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.
In particular
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, the youth nowadays are able to keep up with the latest trends faster than the old generations.
As a consequence
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, young dwellers will prefer to acknowledge the
customs
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from
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of
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 international regions rather than the regional ones. More severely, elderly persons cannot stay alive forever in order to conserve the old values, and a nation will face different challenges if there are no realistic ways to preserve the culture of their
country
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. In conclusion, despite
numerous
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the numerous
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 benefits involved, I am of the opinion that
tourism
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 potentially alters the existing
customs
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 that carry historical values, thereby the authorities must consider and balance between developing
tourism
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 and cultural protection.

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction appropriately sets up the topic but could more precisely outline your stance for clearer direction.
logical structure
While the essay maintains a logical structure, transitions between main points could be smoother, and paragraph organization could be enhanced for better readability.
supported main points
You provided general support for your main points, but including more detailed examples from specific experiences or knowledge would strengthen your argument.
complete response
Your response to the task is relatively complete, yet expanding on the contrast between benefits and drawbacks with more depth would achieve a higher band.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are explained in a clear way, but they could be developed more comprehensively with broader argumentation and analysis.
relevant specific examples
More relevant and specific examples should be included to substantiate your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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