IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Many people say that technology has made our lives easier, but others believe it has created more problems than it has solved.” Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Several societies thought
hi tech
Use the right word
hi-tech
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 would make our lives easier,
while
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 others believed problems would be more complex to solve. I would definitely support the technology could be very helpful and solve our problems
on
Change preposition
in
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 our daily
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
Study
Replace the word
studying
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 or
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 freelance work. Technology these days is very helpful for us. Not only does it have a lot of functions to do our job like a robot that helps clean our house, but
also
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hi
Use the right word
high
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 tech makes our tasks easier and our problems less difficult than before
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For
Punctuation problem
. For
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 example, Canva helps us build our design tasks very easily.
Additionally
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, gadget has a lot of features,
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can help us get creative with developing apps
such
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 as sketch, arts, and others to build our gift in the arts.
Moreover
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, Artificial Intelligence has jumped into an assist to help humans daily lives.
such
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 as
study
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studying
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,
research
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researching
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, or
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 a daily planner.
Although
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 automation has been impactful for our daily
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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, it could have a bad impact on our
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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 and activities, we will
be
Verb problem
become
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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lazy
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not want to think and research wisely.
Besides
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, our data is not safe anymore, because of the level of applied science, it could make hackers or data thieves can easily get their personal information.
To conclude
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, Technology has a great impact on our lives, but it
also
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 has a bad influence on people who do not careful of use gadgets wisely
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Although
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 AI is part of our daily activity, we must keep our info safe and still verify the data.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Moreover
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moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 we can use
a
Correct article usage
apply
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double authentication for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better
profil
Correct your spelling
profile
 security.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states both views and your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each main point to improve organization.
task achievement
Try to give more details and examples to support your points.
task achievement
You provided interesting examples of technology like Canva and AI.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear opinion that technology helps us but also has downsides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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