IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Should school uniform be mandatory? Are you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
should
Correct word order
students should
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 have to wear
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i'll
Fix capitalization
I'll
show examples
 explain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both sides with a statement. I believe that we can wear
whenever
Correct word choice
whatever
show examples
 we want to
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it doesn'
t
Use synonyms
envolve
Correct your spelling
involve
 the
school
Use synonyms
 rules. If we wear anything we want
it'll
Punctuation problem
, it'll
show examples
 cause so many issues.
Such
Linking Words
 as distinction between social classes, environmental
unfriendly
Replace the word
unfriendliness
show examples
, water
sonsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 and global warming. If someone
wear
Correct subject-verb agreement
wears
show examples
 trendy
clothes
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
school
Punctuation problem
school,
show examples
 the teenagers tend to
intimidate
Verb problem
imitate
show examples
 their style image
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 their appearance. And it can be disturbing
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
Correct your spelling
attention
attiention
Punctuation problem
attiention,
show examples
also
Linking Words
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 would be annoyed. For the majority of people wear almost 3500 pieces of
clothes
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lifetime
considering
Punctuation problem
, considering
show examples
 the
uniform
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if we don'
t
Use synonyms
 count
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct article usage
the uniform
show examples
 as
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mandatory
Punctuation problem
mandatory,
show examples
 the percentage of
clothes
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 10
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 it's really harmful
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
 environment and even the animals.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 most
students
Use synonyms
 find it
uncomfortable
Punctuation problem
uncomfortable,
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 they think it's not essential.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the waste of
clothes
Use synonyms
 will be out of hand
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 we can'
t
Use synonyms
 deny
our
Correct word choice
that our
show examples
 nature is going
destroyed
Verb problem
to be destroyed
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we
wear
Wrong verb form
make wearing
show examples
 the
uniform
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mandatory
Punctuation problem
mandatory,
show examples
 it won'
t
Use synonyms
 nearly appear
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 society class.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 it won'
t
Use synonyms
highly
Verb problem
be highly
show examples
appear
Verb problem
likely that
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 bully and look down at someone.
Even it
Rephrase
It
show examples
 can
be
Rephrase
also be
show examples
 cost-effective by decreasing a huge
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of money we
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 throughout the twelve years in
school
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it's
eco friendly
Use the right word
eco-friendly
show examples
 because if we take a cotton
t
Use synonyms
-shirt
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
 approximately 2700 litres of water. So if we wear
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
uniform
Punctuation problem
uniform,
show examples
 it will be
wise
Correct article usage
a wise
show examples
 decision for our nature.
Overall
Linking Words
, if we keep wearing the
school
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
uniform
Punctuation problem
uniform,
show examples
 it'll make less expense
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
the don'
Verb problem
not
show examples
t
Use synonyms
wear
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
.
Correct pronoun usage
one.
show examples
 Even for the
environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
 choice.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
 might be uncomfortable and
issue
Correct article usage
an issue
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
those
show examples
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 following their wishes. Because we are forbidding their freedom. Even though it's essential to wear
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 for everyone .

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer connections between your ideas. Try to use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your examples, providing clearer explanations of how they relate to your argument.
task response
You raised important points about social class and environmental issues related to clothing. This shows that you understand the topic well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • uniform
  • mandatory
  • equality
  • students
  • clothes
  • competition
  • bullying
  • focus
  • studies
  • academic performance
  • belonging
  • team spirit
  • connected
  • outfit
  • connected
  • school
  • parents
  • morning
  • routine
  • values
  • identity
  • community
  • respect
What to do next:
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