Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
The developed
countries
Use synonyms
such
as the United Kingdom, the USA and Canada imparted money to underdeveloped nations to help them out. Certain people believe that it is better to give others measures Linking Words
instead
of charity funds. I strongly agree with the statement.
To commence with, the proponents believe that getting other measures Linking Words
instead
of money is a good notion towards development. Linking Words
Firstly
, there is an increased ratio of illiteracy in underdeveloped states so it is integral for them to build education sectors and provide higher studies. Linking Words
Moreover
, students who can not afford the expenses of academics. Linking Words
Therefore
, developed Linking Words
countries
should provide them with scholarships and sponsorships for their higher level of studies. Use synonyms
As a result
, they return back to their hometowns and serve their native Linking Words
country
in a more efficient way. Use synonyms
For example
, students who choose foreign realms for Masters and PhDs have worked pragmatically and in Linking Words
this
way economy increased. Linking Words
Additionally
, the supply of medical forces, treatments and equipment is another measure that poorer Linking Words
countries
require. Use synonyms
For instance
, In COVID-19, developed Linking Words
countries
imparted other Use synonyms
countries
with vaccines to control the aftermaths of Use synonyms
this
situation and save the Linking Words
country
from Use synonyms
further
deterioration.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, people who are against the notion. Linking Words
Firstly
, financial support from other Linking Words
countries
has a huge impact on the Use synonyms
country
's financial condition as it ameliorates the the life of poor. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, money is one of the major assets behind anything to improve and build. it Linking Words
also
creates a major difference in underdeveloped areas. Linking Words
For example
, In 2005, there was an earthquake in northern areas of Pakistan and the consequence of Linking Words
this
the houses were demolished. there were a lot of funds that came from the UK and America for needy people. Linking Words
Hence
, native citizens can build their houses in the least amount of time.
In conclusion, Linking Words
Although
funds from developed Linking Words
countries
have played a vital role in development. Use synonyms
However
, another form of help in terms of education and medical intervention has benefited the Linking Words
country
a long way.Use synonyms
Submitted by seharfazal9 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on a clearer structure for the essay. Ensure each paragraph has a specific focus, and transitions between paragraphs are smoother. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clearer roadmap of the main points to be discussed. Also, the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main arguments presented in the essay.
task achievement
While relevant examples are provided, some examples felt slightly rushed. Ensure that every example is explained in the context of the main point it's supporting.
task achievement
Address counterarguments more extensively and refute them effectively to strengthen your position. This will help demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses different aspects of the topic, covering both why other forms of aid might be more beneficial and why some still consider financial aid important. This helps to show a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, particularly the ones about education scholarships and foreign aid during natural disasters.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear and there are few grammatical mistakes, demonstrating a good command of English.