IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Advertising
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 become old school
stayle
Correct your spelling
style
 nowadays
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 many people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not buy items
used to
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 old advertising methods.
While
Linking Words
 others do not care about how
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they
advertis
Correct your spelling
advertise
 it. The following
disccustion
Correct your spelling
discussion
 will explore
both
Use synonyms
 opposing views surrounding the issue and provide a reasoned personal opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some companies have very smart
ways
Use synonyms
 to advertise their
proudects
Correct your spelling
products
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Individules
Correct your spelling
individuals
become
Verb problem
have become
show examples
 these days more
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
ways
Use synonyms
 and they pay
attntion
Correct your spelling
attention
 to
both
Use synonyms
 the quality and price. Regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the subject, common marketing
practies
Correct your spelling
practices
 are not acceptable
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 many
shopers
Correct your spelling
shoppers
 as they feel like it is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of scam. In the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 the marketing
ways
Use synonyms
 were limited
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as TV,
papernews
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 and street signs
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
,
Rephrase
afterwards, afterword
show examples
afterword
Check wording
apply
show examples
there are several smart marketing methods
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
targeted
Verb problem
be targeted
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 whom.
For example
Linking Words
, now a lot of companies apply to use social media
instied
Correct your spelling
instead
 of above mentioned
ways
Use synonyms
. 
In addition
Linking Words
, the creative marketing can
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 people
bay
Use the right word
buy
show examples
 whatever they have seen just
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the way
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
proudect
Correct your spelling
product
assigned
Wrong verb form
is presented
show examples
 to them.
Furthmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, social media
promoting
Replace the word
promotion
show examples
 can
reflects
Wrong verb form
reflect
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
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 exact number or
statics
Use the right word
statistics
show examples
 about how many views has been seen their video
and
Verb problem
has received and
show examples
 it can be reached
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 number of users. In conclusion,
a fter
Use the right word
after
show examples
 analysis of
both
Use synonyms
point
Check wording
apply
show examples
sides. Personally, I strongly agree with it and I believe that smart marketing methods avoid
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 feel
Correct your spelling
scammed
scaming
Punctuation problem
scaming,
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then
Linking Words
 it can be used to reach a big number of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 and assist them to access their
needs
Replace the word
needed
show examples
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
So
Punctuation problem
. So
show examples
, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful for
both
Use synonyms
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Try to use paragraphs for each idea. Start with an introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for different points, and end with a conclusion.
task achievement
You should check the spelling and grammar. Some words are misspelled, like 'proudects' instead of 'products' and 'bay' instead of 'buy'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to explain your ideas more clearly. Some sentences are hard to understand because of grammar and vocabulary mistakes. Try to use simpler sentences to express your thoughts better.
task achievement
You have attempted to discuss both views about advertising, which is good for the task.
task achievement
You provided examples of modern advertising methods, such as social media, which adds to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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