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Band 6.5

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the adventages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

In many cultures,
children
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 are frequently encouraged with the belief that they can accomplish anything if they put in sufficient effort.
This
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 message,
while
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 well-intentioned, carries both benefits and drawbacks depending on how it is interpreted and the context in which it is applied. One clear advantage of
this
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 belief is that it can foster perseverance and a strong
work
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 ethic.
Children
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 who grow up believing that effort leads to success are more likely to stay motivated,
work
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 hard, and persist through challenges.
This
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 mindset, often referred to as a "growth mindset," can help young people overcome setbacks and become resilient individuals.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 message can boost
children
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's confidence and ambition, encouraging them to set high goals and pursue them with determination, which can lead to greater academic and personal achievements.
However
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, there are
also
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 significant disadvantages to promoting
this
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 idea without nuance. One major concern is that it can create unrealistic expectations. In reality, not all goals can be achieved through effort alone, as success is often influenced by factors
such
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 as natural ability, resources, and social conditions. If
children
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 fail despite trying their best, they may experience disappointment or develop feelings of inadequacy, believing they are not trying hard enough.
This
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 could lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, or even burnout.
Additionally
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,
this
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 mindset may ignore systemic barriers
such
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 as poverty or discrimination, unfairly placing the burden of success or failure solely on the individual. In conclusion, telling
children
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 that they can achieve anything through hard
work
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 has the potential to inspire motivation and resilience.
However
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, it should be communicated carefully and realistically.
Children
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 benefit most when they are encouraged to
work
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 hard,
while
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also
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 being taught to
recognize
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recognise
show examples
 their limitations and understand that some outcomes are beyond their control.

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task achievement
Try to include specific examples to support your points more clearly. This will make the argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is well explained; this will help with how the ideas connect.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
You make good points about both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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