Some people think that it’s a good to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
While
some people are comfortable socialising with their colleagues
from work
outside office hours
, some others believe that it is not necessary and choose to keep their professional and social lives separated. Although
it is based on one's preference, I personally believe that both views come with their own advantages which will be discussed in this
essay.
Keeping a good interpersonal relationship with work
colleagues
could have a good impact on us at some points. We would easily get connected with others who work
in the same place and deal with the same goals and problems as us, resulting in giving us comfort in talking to each other. We might also
enjoy the feeling of a brief relaxation through sharing sessions with our colleagues
while
hanging out outside office
Change preposition
during office
hours
. Therefore
, having a cup of coffee together on the weekend or grabbing a quick dinner after work
with them may also
help us to relieve stress from work
.
On the other hand
, it is not wholly a bad decision to keep our working and personal lives separate. In my opinion, by adapting to this
view, we will be freed from any work
-related stuff that might be stressing us out for at least several hours
per day. Cutting connection with our colleagues
after working hours
are finished will also
allow us to completely enjoy some times being ourselves as an individual, not as a worker.
In conclusion, it is completely free for every individual to choose which principle they would like to adopt. These two lifestyles are not binary options. Thus
, it is just fine for everyone to apply both views at the same time to their lives.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Examiner's Feedback: The essay presents a mostly logical structure. The introduction sets the stage for a balanced discussion; however, the body paragraphs should develop a clearer progression of ideas. Transition words are used, but the connection between ideas could be strengthened with more varied and sophisticated linking devices. The conclusion does summarize the main points effectively, yet it could benefit from a more decisive statement reflecting the candidate's own view.
task achievement
Examiner's Feedback: You have addressed the task and provided a clear opinion in the conclusion. The ideas presented are relevant; however, the essay lacks detailed examples and evidence to support the arguments, which is essential for a higher band score. To improve, include specific examples and experiences (real or hypothetical) to illustrate the points made, showing a greater range in the ability to illustrate abstract ideas with concrete evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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