Some people think that it’s a good to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

While
some people are comfortable socialising with their
colleagues
from
work
outside office
hours
, some others believe that it is not necessary and choose to keep their professional and social lives separated.
Although
it is based on one's preference, I personally believe that both views come with their own advantages which will be discussed in
this
essay. Keeping a good interpersonal relationship with
work
colleagues
could have a good impact on us at some points. We would easily get connected with others who
work
in the same place and deal with the same goals and problems as us, resulting in giving us comfort in talking to each other. We might
also
enjoy the feeling of a brief relaxation through sharing sessions with our
colleagues
while
hanging out outside
office
Change preposition
during office
show examples
hours
.
Therefore
, having a cup of coffee together on the weekend or grabbing a quick dinner after
work
with them may
also
help us to relieve stress from
work
.
On the other hand
, it is not wholly a bad decision to keep our working and personal lives separate. In my opinion, by adapting to
this
view, we will be freed from any
work
-related stuff that might be stressing us out for at least several
hours
per day. Cutting connection with our
colleagues
after working
hours
are finished will
also
allow us to completely enjoy some times being ourselves as an individual, not as a worker. In conclusion, it is completely free for every individual to choose which principle they would like to adopt. These two lifestyles are not binary options.
Thus
, it is just fine for everyone to apply both views at the same time to their lives.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Examiner's Feedback: The essay presents a mostly logical structure. The introduction sets the stage for a balanced discussion; however, the body paragraphs should develop a clearer progression of ideas. Transition words are used, but the connection between ideas could be strengthened with more varied and sophisticated linking devices. The conclusion does summarize the main points effectively, yet it could benefit from a more decisive statement reflecting the candidate's own view.
task achievement
Examiner's Feedback: You have addressed the task and provided a clear opinion in the conclusion. The ideas presented are relevant; however, the essay lacks detailed examples and evidence to support the arguments, which is essential for a higher band score. To improve, include specific examples and experiences (real or hypothetical) to illustrate the points made, showing a greater range in the ability to illustrate abstract ideas with concrete evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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