ART IS CONSIDERED AN IMPORTANT PART OF A SOCIETY AS WELL AS AN EXPRESSION OF ITS CULTURE. DO YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN TO BE TAUGHT ART? DO YOU THINK CHILDREN SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED TO FOCUS ON ART RATHER THAN OTHER SUBJECTS?

Some people start
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
to know
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultures
from
Change preposition
through
show examples
art
Use synonyms
because
this
Linking Words
is
keys
Fix the agreement mistake
key
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
, present and sometimes
futures
Fix the agreement mistake
future
show examples
countries
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
all individuals should learning
art
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
does not depend on age.
Nowaday
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
kids
Punctuation problem
, kids
show examples
should be more
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
Use synonyms
art
Change preposition
in art
show examples
, because
this
Linking Words
is one of the most important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
history
Change preposition
of history
show examples
and
cultur
Correct your spelling
cultural
identification, from
this
Linking Words
we can find out about
traditional
Replace the word
tradition
show examples
.
Fierstly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
art
Use synonyms
one
Verb problem
is one
show examples
of the best
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
for
children
Use synonyms
and young
to
Check wording
people to
show examples
find life way and
idintification
Correct your spelling
identification
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is improve
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
other skills,
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
better critical
think
Check wording
thinking
show examples
,
well know
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
history, less mental problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
danish
Fix capitalization
Danish
show examples
scientist from
Denmark
Check wording
the Danish
show examples
National
Universitet
Use the right word
University
show examples
research that
children
Use synonyms
who learned
art
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
has better
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, and better
reletionship
Correct your spelling
relationships
with
Correct pronoun usage
their partner
show examples
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
who has a lot of
knowlage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about
art
Use synonyms
seems most
intelegensy
Correct your spelling
intelligent
and smart in society.
Last
Linking Words
but not least,
someone
Use the right word
some people
show examples
think
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
art
Use synonyms
has so much positive effect
kids
Punctuation problem
, kids
show examples
should
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
focus
Use synonyms
art
Change preposition
on art
show examples
rather than other subjects, but
this
Linking Words
is wrong because we must
grow
Verb problem
develop
show examples
other skills which
art
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
able
improve
Verb problem
to improve
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
math and IT develop memory, critical thinking, calculating
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
. P.E
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
important because we have to
takes
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
care about body
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
kids can be upset because they do not like
learn
Verb problem
to learn
show examples
only
art
Use synonyms
, they
favorit
Correct your spelling
favour
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
math
Change preposition
of math
show examples
, or they choose P.E.
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
must
also
Linking Words
lesten
Correct your spelling
listen
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
to children
show examples
. In conclusion,
art
Use synonyms
briliant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
subject which has many positive effects, for
children
Use synonyms
and society, important for growing
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
and developing basic skills. But, should not
promout
Correct your spelling
promote
only
this
Linking Words
, we are free in choosing.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on it. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally' to help the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and make them stronger.
task achievement
You highlight the importance of art for children and society, which is a good main idea.
coherence
Your ability to discuss both sides of the argument shows open-mindedness and thoughtfulness.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: