IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Do the advantages of being self-employed outweigh the disadvantages?

There has always been a controversy regarding whether or not being self-employed is more favourable than working under an organisation. It is indubitable that being
one
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's own boss can increase responsibilities and workload, which is why many individuals believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages;
however
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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 notion. On the
one
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 hand, not only can being self-employed increase the burden or task number,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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 can
also
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 cause higher stress levels. In a specific case, having no
one
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 to share responsibilities and losses with can lead to high levels of stress and increased working hours.
For example
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, having no employer means that the individual may have to be committed to a huge amount of
work
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 and pay the expenses
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as electricity and water bills.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can lead to a lot of tension, making
work
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 life more difficult.
On the other hand
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, being
one
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's own boss can allow a balanced, flexible
work
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 life. First and foremost, the person can choose their working hours, which lets them balance leisure time with working hours.
For example
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, a mother of three will be able to spend time with her children
as well as
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 with
work
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.
This
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 freedom may be more preferable for many people since there won't be any pressure from an employer.
Furthermore
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, having no boss indicates that there could be higher financial rewards, as profits or income do not need to be shared with anyone. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because being able to arrange schedules and decide levels of payment can offer more freedom and less stress in life. All in all, the benefits of working independently depend largely on the personality and the lifestyle of a person.

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task achievement
Make sure each main point is well developed with more examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between paragraphs to help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Consider trying to give a more balanced view in the introduction without giving your opinion too early.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
examples
The examples you provided, especially about the mother of three, are relatable and support your points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • freedom
  • work hours
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • earn money
  • profits
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • responsibility
  • personal growth
  • challenges
  • financial security
  • flexibility
  • independence
  • disadvantages
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