IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

There is currently a contentious argument over
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects of extreme and immoral
content
Use synonyms
 present on the
internet
Use synonyms
. Some people argue that the only way to limit the effects is to
cencor
Correct your spelling
censor
 the information by
government
Use synonyms
-controlled methods.I believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should regulate certain harmful information
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 full
censorship
Use synonyms
 would hinder the freedom of
speech
Use synonyms
 and access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 knowledge. First and foremost, there are many reasons why
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
control
Use synonyms
 some
infomation
Correct your spelling
information
 available online.
Censorship
Use synonyms
 protects children
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 from pornography,
cyber bullying
Use the right word
cyberbullying
show examples
 and violent materials.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,the dark websites have a lot of illegal
content
Use synonyms
 that causes serious
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
 to our young generation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, limiting access will prevent hate
speech
Use synonyms
 and extremist
propagandas
Fix the agreement mistake
propaganda
show examples
 that can lead to violence and
discrimation
Correct your spelling
discrimination
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
cencorship
Correct your spelling
censorship
also
Linking Words
 stops the spread of misinformation.
For example
Linking Words
, during COVID-19, a lot of misinformation
spreads
Wrong verb form
spread
show examples
 around the world regarding the vaccines and
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of deaths.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 should not
control
Use synonyms
 everything on
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Censorship
Use synonyms
 can be abused by authoritarian
regeims
Correct your spelling
regimes
 and political parties to silence dissent and manipulate public opinion.
Thus
Linking Words
, full
censorship
Use synonyms
 will not allow people to have freedom of
speech
Use synonyms
 and access to real information
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is essential in democratic societies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the
internet
Use synonyms
 has turned the whole world into
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 village
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 of one country cannot fully
control
Use synonyms
content
Use synonyms
 hosted
elsewhere
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, tech-solutions
such
Linking Words
 as AI and parental
control
Use synonyms
 allow
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 and
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 to filter
content
Use synonyms
 without full
censorship
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 the
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 reasons, I believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should regulate extreme
content
Use synonyms
 for
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 and safety of youth
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not censor the
internet
Use synonyms
entirely
Punctuation problem
entirely,
show examples
 as it
limit
Correct subject-verb agreement
limits
show examples
 the freedom of
speech
Use synonyms
 and risks of
government
Use synonyms
 overreach.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

spelling
Make sure to check for spelling errors like 'cencor' instead of 'censor'.
cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect ideas, like 'however' and 'for example'.
task response
Make your main points clearer and support them with more specific examples related to everyday life.
content
You have presented a balanced view discussing both sides of the argument.
content
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on government regulation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Censorship
  • Freedom of expression
  • Hate speech
  • Misinformation
  • Extremism
  • Regulations
  • Cyberbullying
  • Self-regulation
  • Transparency
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Algorithms
  • Digital culture
  • Personal freedoms
  • Illegal content
  • Internet safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: