IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some think that it is a positive development, whereas others consider it as negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the contemporary era, markets are increasing rapidly with
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of identical shops and
goods
Use synonyms
 all over the world. Because of
this
Linking Words
, people are arguing that
this
Linking Words
 thought of selling
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
 in my country may prove to be a growth or a downfall of the same business.
While
Linking Words
 I believe
this
Linking Words
 is
totally a
Correct word order
a totally
show examples
favorable
Use the right word
favourable
show examples
 development that I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. To commence with, if businesses sell the same kind of
products
Use synonyms
 in their stores,
then
Linking Words
 it will be easy to source
goods
Use synonyms
 by customers. Even though they don't need to search for new
products
Use synonyms
, as it is easily available in every store overseas as well
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 chemists or drug stores must have all the medicines which are required in everyday
daily
Correct word choice
apply
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life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, unlike any seasonal fruits or vegetables, if the food is the same everywhere,
then
Linking Words
 it’s easily accessible
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. due
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due
Fix capitalization
Due
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 to
this
Linking Words
, when a person goes for vacation or any other reason out of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
, they can easily get their choice of food from nearby grocery stores or malls. Considering the negative development viewpoint, despite providing ease of product to
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
, it generates competition in the business sector, which can be proven downfall for some businesses
due to
Linking Words
 not getting enough customers to increase sales.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, from
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
 perspective, there will be no uniqueness. Since businesses selling
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 product, customers will not go to any location to buy their particular or famous product; they will only prefer nearby locations to buy
goods
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I think it is a positive development because people can receive any
products
Use synonyms
 just by sitting at home.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it has become very convenient for them to order and buy any materials. In conclusion, the presence of the same shops and
products
Use synonyms
 across different countries has both positive and negative impacts.
Although
Linking Words
 having some
products
Use synonyms
 in store
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world creates a monopoly
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a lot of advantages and reliability to the customer.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to that idea. Try to connect your ideas with linking words.
task achievement
Use clearer examples to support your points. Specific examples will help show your ideas better.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Homogenization
  • Multinational corporations
  • Consumer culture
  • Economic disparity
  • Cultural diversity
  • Standardization
  • Local enterprises
  • Cultural erosion
  • Mass market
  • Brand recognition
  • Economic integration
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