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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.

The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010.
The charts that were given
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
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 how academic qualifications were influenced by age and between
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 and men in Glasgow, Scotland, in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 most adults had graduated from the
university
Use synonyms
 in comparison to
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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 group with no qualifications. The
proporiton
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
university
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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between
Change preposition
among
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 people 24-35 years old
far
Verb problem
is far
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more
Correct word choice
higher
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 than
school
Use synonyms
cerificates
Correct your spelling
certificates
 and individuals with no qualification, with
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 of 76%, 15%, and 9% in accordance.
Similar
Correct article usage
A similar
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patern
Correct your spelling
pattern
 had been seen
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 groups aged 16-24 and 35-50 years old, with 71% of
university
Use synonyms
 degree, 20% of
school
Use synonyms
cerification
Correct your spelling
certification
, and only 9% people with no qualification.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the latter group had the biggest category of no
qualificated
Correct your spelling
qualified
 specialists with 72%. And only 25% had
gradueted
Correct your spelling
graduated
 from the
university
Use synonyms
 and 3% got
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
cerification
Correct your spelling
certification
. From the pie charts, both sex groups had the same proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people who had
school
Use synonyms
 certificates. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, the number
unqualified
Change preposition
of unqualified
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 women
a
Verb problem
is a
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bit bigger than men
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 38% and 35% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • educational levels
  • qualifications
  • higher education
  • school level qualifications
  • no qualifications
  • proportions
  • notable trends
  • outliers
  • age demographics
  • economic conditions
  • social policies
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