Prevention of crime is more important than punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that

crime

Use synonyms

prevention

Use synonyms

has higher priority compared to punishment. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion and will support my view with relevant reasons and examples. One compelling reason for

this

Linking Words

view is that most of the

crime

Use synonyms

recently has been caused by the family breakdown.

This

Linking Words

means that the majority of the

crime

Use synonyms

could be lowered by strongly supporting families as a

prevention

Use synonyms

strategy. Another point worth noting is that a

crime

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causes financial costs to victims and governments.

This

Linking Words

has been demonstrated by the study of

crime

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in Korea over the

last

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20 years. The study indicated that it took more than 10 years for the victims to get completely compensated for the

crime

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according to

Linking Words

the average salary in Korea.

Also

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, the debt from the government increased more than 3 times, making it impossible for the government to completely pay for the annual debt.

However

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, I would argue that

this

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idea has several flaws.

Firstly

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, there are several types of

crime

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that cannot be solved only by

prevention

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. The complication of cybercrime has been well demonstrated by its fast advancement. The methods and the duration of cybercrime have been upgraded frequently by the invention of AI, which can’t be solved only with

prevention

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strategies.

Moreover

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, the time for the criminals to get fully rehabilitated takes longer. It could lead to economic loss to a corporation that the criminal belongs to, because the age of most of the criminals is in the range of the working-age population.

To sum up

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, I agree that

crime

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prevention

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is more important than punishment because of the presence of family support systems and the financial loss to victims and governments.

However

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, I disagree with the idea to a large extent because of the

crime

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types that are not covered only by

prevention

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, and the long period of criminal rehabilitation.

jeminlee0903

Jul 8, 2025

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task achievement

Work on making your main points clearer and more connected to your main argument.

coherence and cohesion

Try using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Make sure to give more specific examples that directly relate to your points.

structure

You have a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes your views well.

content

You provide some good reasons for your opinion, especially about family support and financial costs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Prevention of crime is more important than punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Computers are widely used in education and teachers now play a less important role in the classroom than ever before. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite eﬀect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.