IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
practicing
Use the right word
practising
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 in general
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 essential in our lives.
Whille
Correct your spelling
While
 it is a commonly held belief that exercising with other athletes, like basketball and soccer,will gain
people
Use synonyms
 more benefits, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
sports
Use synonyms
 that
played
Verb problem
are played
show examples
 by individuals, like
marital
Use the right word
martial
show examples
 arts, are more important.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, playing with
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
 is often more fun and
learning
Verb problem
involves learning
show examples
 a lot of skills.
In other words
Linking Words
, when you play with other
people
Use synonyms
 to achieve a goal,
such
Linking Words
 as to win or to improve
ourselves
Punctuation problem
ourselves,
show examples
 that will teach you
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooperation and how to deal with different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of humans.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
helpes
Correct your spelling
helps
 to make new friends,
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 will assist and motivate most
people
Use synonyms
 to continue
to attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
 their class.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 statistics conducted on
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of new athletes,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 discovered that
people
Use synonyms
 who come regularly are
people
Use synonyms
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 friends
play
Verb problem
to play
show examples
 with them.
Body paragraph 2
On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, individual
sports
Use synonyms
 are popular among calm
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, they
helpe
Correct your spelling
help
 them to relax, it is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that they make them feel more confident and assist them to focus on performing their exercise.
Moreover
Linking Words
, playing alone makes you depend on yourself and and
gain you
Correct word order
you gain
show examples
 self learning skills, so you will discover yourself and you will
can
Verb problem
be able to
show examples
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 others.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that team
sports
Use synonyms
 are more exciting and have more
advanages
Correct your spelling
advantages
.

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task achievement
Make sure to stay on topic and respond to the question fully.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas by using clearer linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to avoid mistakes.
content
The essay presents both views, which is the right approach for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that states your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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