IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are planning a holiday and want to find out about the kinds of holiday packages that can be arranged by a local company. Write a letter to the company to as for information about the holiday packages they offer. In your letter: say where and when you would like to go include details about the kind of holiday you would like to take say what kind of information you would like to receive.

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to get some more details
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
 packages that you offer. I am planning to spend my days off
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Toronto
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 with my girlfriend. We already decided to go out
this
Linking Words
 upcoming long weekend
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is from
2nd
Correct article usage
the 2nd
show examples
 to
4th
Correct article usage
the 4th
show examples
 of August
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
 BC
day
Fix capitalization
Day
show examples
. Fortunately, it's her birthday on
4th
Correct article usage
the 4th
show examples
. I am looking for a luxurious holiday package. I think it would be a great surprise for her. It should be
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
star
Use the right word
five-star
show examples
 hotel including all the services
such
Linking Words
 as airport pickup, food and visiting famous attractions. I am willing to spend
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
 five
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 bucks in total. Surprisingly, all the information was available on your website
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 have
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 questions.I am so curious about the airline.
Also
Linking Words
.
will
Fix capitalization
Will
show examples
 it be the business class?
Also
Linking Words
, if I can get some
discription
Correct your spelling
description
 of
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
. I need a scenic window view
please
Punctuation problem
, please
show examples
. I am waiting for your reply. Your sencerily, Harry

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clarify your points and separate different ideas into paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are fully answered, including any specific requests or details.
task achievement
Use a more friendly tone in your letter to match the holiday request.
task achievement
The letter is clear and covers the main points needed for a holiday package request.
task achievement
Good effort in expressing your excitement about the trip.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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