Some people say that music is a good way of bringing peple of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

In
this
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influential contemporary world vast number of people are
persuing
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pursuing
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variety
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a variety
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of activities to relax in.So individuals who are inclining to entertain in
music
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, holding the opinion that
music
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is a paticular way to expressig the sense of culture and about the decade at onec.in my opinion, I believe, the former proposition appears to be more rational and
this
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essey will
further
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elaborate the statement and will lead to a logical conclusion.
supporting
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Supporting
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my agreement to the given opinion, I firmly believe that
,
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apply
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the
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apply
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music
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is an art which could performe the history and
tradition
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of a
country
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country,
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solely as it is an imagination of the
lyricist
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lyricist's
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experiences that the person feels thoroughly in his life. It may be directly posing the conventional background of a nation. To illustrate,
In
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in
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country
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a country
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like India, there is a huge demand for classical
music
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such
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as Karnataka,Barath
etc.
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, etc.
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, which enormously
illustrate
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illustrates
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thereown
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their own
tradition
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,culture and beliefs.
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thus
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Thus
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,
this
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factor
is
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apply
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clearly
explain
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explains
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how
tradition
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is
spreding
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spreading
with the songs. Explaining another supporting point for my
agreemant
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agreement
, it is true that
,
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apply
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culture and age
is
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are
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being together each other
while
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elaborating
someones'
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someone's
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thoughts.
This
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, in
term
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turn
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, means, if a song
need
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needs
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to
recognize
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be recognised
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by
audience
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the audience
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as it is the best, it must be
relavent
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relevant
to the time and background they live in.
Therefore
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,
music
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agents target
is
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apply
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entertainig
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entertaining
people who
adopt
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adapt
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to that age.
Consequently
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,
while
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hearing and exploring lyrics of a song, anyone will be able to gain
clear
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a clear
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idea
reagarding
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regarding
the time period and cultural background ,when the song was produced.
To conclude
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, I strongly agree with the menace, because
music
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is an art and
kind
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apply
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of particular subject which
revolve
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revolves
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the
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around the
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period
of
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in
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it
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which it
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was produced
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along
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, along
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with
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Correct article usage
the tradition
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tradition
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traditions
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of a nation.

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grammar
Make sure to check your grammar and spelling. Words like 'paticular' and 'perform' were used incorrectly.
coherence
Try to make your ideas more clear and organized. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more examples and better explanations to support your points about music and culture.
positive observation
You have a good introduction that states your opinion clearly.
positive observation
You provide examples from India that relate to your point about music and culture.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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