IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

From smartphones to artificial intelligence,
technology
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 has brought many utilities to human life.
However
Linking Words
, some people are concerned that
technology
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universalization
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apply
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is benefiting the rich more than the poor, leading to inequality.
This
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 essay will discuss arguments
analyzing
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analysing
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 both the role of
technology
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 and providing views based on real observations. On the one hand, advanced
technology
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 is often more accessible to the rich. They have the opportunity to own modern equipment, use high-end digital services, and
easy
Verb problem
have easy
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access
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 to online education and employment opportunities.
For example
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, in Vietnam, many large businesses can invest in artificial intelligence and automation systems, helping them improve productivity and reduce costs.
In contrast
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, the poor can be left behind without technological knowledge or digital infrastructure, widening the income gap.
On the other hand
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, if properly implemented,
technology
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 can be an effective tool to reduce inequality.
For example
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, the internet helps students in remote areas to
access
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 free knowledge, financial applications help the poor
access
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 banking services, and farmers can use their phones to get updates on agricultural and weather prices, helping to increase income. In short, the impact of
technology
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 depends on how people use it.
Technology
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 can both increase and narrow the gap between the rich and the poor. In my opinion, the government should invest so that people, especially the poor, can
access
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technology
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, thereby creating equal opportunities and reducing injustice in society

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to expand on your conclusion by summarising the key points and reiterating your opinion more clearly.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets the tone for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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