Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Advanced technical instruments make youth to more on them.

On the contrary

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, children should invest their leisure time in physical exercise and games

such

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as cricket, and football. I firmly believe that young kids should spend more time playing sports and games outside.

This

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would be beneficial majorly in first more social knowledge and

second,

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is being more flexible in physical health.

Firstly

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, children must go out and explore social life like participating in school events and gatherings, where they get more exposure to being a respectful person in the world.

As a consequence

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, they become more responsible towards their personal and professional life. With these responsibilities, they would learn how to tackle any personal or professional issues.

For instance

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, My childhood friend Rahul is now a successful person because he faced a lot of problems in his childhood and overcame those issues.

Secondly

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, Playing outside has a major impact on the physical movement of children. go to the gym or do exercise and other hustle leading to improve their muscle strength and shape the body.

Furthermore

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, it will motivate them to build personality and make value in society.

For example

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, the University of Mexico has proved that physically maintained bodies gravitate 37% toward career opportunities.

To conclude

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, being busy and more addicted to devices makes youth lazy and drowsy. So, for a better successful future, physical exercise and being extrovert are more crucial.

This

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would have huge positive outcomes

such

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as desired jobs, socialisation and being responsible citizens of the country.

022omkarshindeThu Jun 05 2025

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task achievement

Develop your introduction to clearly state your position and outline the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples or explanations.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the conclusion by summarizing key points and restating your opinion more clearly.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear position in favor of outdoor play, which is important.

task achievement

You provided a personal example that connects well to your argument, which helps engage the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dependent
computers
electronics
entertainment
encourage
playing
outdoor
sports
games
health
eyewear
physical
fitness
social
skills
teamwork
communication
development
creativity
imagination
surroundings
stories
fun
educational
nature
calming
effect
reducing
stress
anxiety
mental
happiness

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The most important responsibility of higher education is to prepare students for their future jobs. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.