IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems? What measures can be used to solve these problems?

The agricultural people moving to cities can cause some serious problems.
in
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In
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 too many ways, like, they have a different mindset and different attitude;
however
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, blending in is not the only problem they would face. There are bigger issues in big cities
,
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;
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 they are already suffering from population density, and that will affect the property rental. In
this
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esay
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essay
 we will
sugate
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suggest
 some ways to
slove
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solve
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 the problem . One of the main problems is the huge population in the cities, wich causes traffic and is very high crowded in every way you go
also
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, as the population increse, the demand for the property will rise and it will start to affect the cost of living but reduce that issue I would recomend to live aroud the area of the city wich will reduce the rental pricing and make it easy to reach the city .
However
Linking Words
, if we look at the other side of the problem, there will be a lot of misunderstanding of different cultures that may affect the communication, but it is not impossible to communicate with each other ( agricultural and city people ). if they want to learn from each other they will find there way to comunicate. by the end, even when there a huge problems, but there will always be a solution to look for
it
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it,
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 you just need to think out of the box to keep up with
life
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life's
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 different
stuation
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situations

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main points in each paragraph and support them with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using proper grammar and spelling to make your writing easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
task achievement
You have addressed the issues related to population movement, which is great.
task achievement
You expressed the idea of cultural misunderstanding, which adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • movement
  • people
  • agricultural
  • areas
  • cities
  • serious
  • problems
  • measures
  • solve
  • overcrowding
  • housing
  • shortages
  • rental
  • prices
  • decline
  • agriculture
  • food
  • shortages
  • demand
  • jobs
  • unemployment
  • competition
  • workers
  • pollution
  • traffic
  • congestion
  • environment
  • quality
  • life
  • population
  • services
  • schools
  • healthcare
  • difficult
  • remain
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