Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education in adult populations who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education
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undeniably plays a huge role in today's world, irrespective of age. In recent times, some
people
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argue that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should allocate more money for educating illiterate
adults
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, rather than young
people
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. I disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
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notion and believe that
this
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would have more negative implications than positive in the long run. Educating young
people
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habve nmany nbefits
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has many benefits
not only for the
indiviaul
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individual
but
also
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for the
wholse
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whole
society
Punctuation problem
. .educating
show examples
.educating
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Educating
young children can
also
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be beneficial to society as these young
people
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who
then
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inturn
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in turn
show examples
ciontribute
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contribute
as
adults
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to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society .
Eductaing
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Educating
them would help them to advance in
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their career
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career
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careers
show examples
.
For example
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, when young
people
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who are educated enter into
workforce
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workforce,
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they contribute to the economy
through
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in
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different ways
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such
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, such
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as
tax
Check wording
through taxes
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, through their skills .
In addition
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to that , allocating money for
education
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on young children would
also
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bemre curicla
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be more crucial
show examples
for
perosnlity
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personality
development . If children get the opportunity for
education
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during the early
years
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years,
show examples
the
ebnefits
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benefits
are
mutifaceted
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multifaceted
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,
show examples
such
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as
perosnlity developmemt
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personality development
.
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apply
show examples
,
socil
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social
skills
which
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, which
show examples
would
alos
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also
enable them to adapt and grow.
For example
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, educating
a 8 year old
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an 8-year-old
will enable us to
euop
Verb problem
equip them
show examples
with
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the necesayr
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necesayr
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necessary
skills needed as an adult,
heowver
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however
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
it
an 28 year old
Replace the word
is a 28-year-old,
show examples
they will
hav edeveloped perosnilaity whih
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have developed personality which
would be
harded
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hard
to
chnagev
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change
.
In contrast
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,
adults
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who are illiterate undergo many challenges,
such
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as
unemployement
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unemployment
,poverty and limited access to healthcare.
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However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
education
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is a
rigours
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rigorous
show examples
process which often requires high brain stimulation
which
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, which
show examples
adults
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might find harder to
nvagaite
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navigate
due to
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age related
Use the right word
age-related
show examples
reasons
such
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as weaker memory, limited capacity to retain information and so on.
Due to
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these barriers,
aduts
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adults
require extra
assisstance
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assistance
in mastering new concepts
they
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; they
show examples
require extra time and effort
which
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, which
show examples
is more demanding.
Therefore
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, educating young
people
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would be considered
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
convinient
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convenient
and feasible option. In conclusion,
education
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is crucial to everyone irrespective of age and it
undoubtdley
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undoubtedly
increases the
qyality
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quality
of life
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. Howveer
show examples
Howveer
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However
even
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, even
show examples
though
educting
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educating
adults
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may
allevait
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alleviate
some
soial isues
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social issues
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
has other
begative imolaications
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negative implications
and the
davantegs
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disadvantages
of
aeductaing yoing epope
Correct your spelling
educating young people
would carry more
advanathes
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advantages
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your main points are clear and connected to the topic.
task achievement
Improve your grammar and spelling to make your ideas easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Try to have one main idea in each paragraph to keep it clear.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your points.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • important
  • government
  • spend
  • money
  • adults
  • read
  • write
  • young
  • people
  • skills
  • jobs
  • thinking
  • world
  • investing
  • base
  • society
  • challenges
  • good
  • families
  • poverty
  • community
  • benefit
  • participate
  • fully
  • contribute
  • economy
  • argue
  • future
  • opportunities
  • younger
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