IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, fast food become spart of everyday life. It affects people’s lifestyle and diet as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

Nowadays, in some countries, fast food has become
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
 part of day-to-day life , which affects individuals' lifestyle and diet. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, especially considering the increasing rate of cancers and
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 fast
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 companies in the world. First and foremost, people tend to eat fast food, on the grounds of hectic life schedules. With rising inflation, individuals choose to do more than
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
 in their lives.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, they couldn't find time to cook at home.
For instance
Linking Words
, many domiciliary caregivers start their shifts early morning and finish late at night. When they do
this
Linking Words
 around five or six days in week, they miss their meal preparation at home. They tend to eat fast food as they are faster and easier
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 their shifts. These fast
foods
Use synonyms
 may contain more sugar and carbohydrates
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
consumed
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
more and more it may lead to more health issues.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, fast
foods
Use synonyms
 can cause cancer as it's contain unhealthy substances. When communities eat instant
foods
Use synonyms
 more often, human bodies start reacting to them in bad ways.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle had cancer in his stomach
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
by
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 eating instant noodles. Researchers and doctors have found that these quick
foods
Use synonyms
 are one of the fundamental reasons for these diseases.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there is significant demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 these
foods
Use synonyms
 as most people are used to eating them.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
a fast-paced in the world as it is easily accessible and sometimes cheaper ,
as well as
Linking Words
 less time-consuming. I believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 these types of
foods
Use synonyms
 affect our diet and health so badly.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in conclusion'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to support your arguments.
task achievement
Check your grammar and punctuation for mistakes to improve clarity.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion about fast food's impact on lifestyle and diet.
task achievement
You provided personal examples which help to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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