IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, good livelihood and convenience in lives were born by
science
Use synonyms
such
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 as food, medicine, clothes, houses, cars, electricity, and smartphones.
Therefore
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, I agree that the subject should be to enhance human lives.
Firstly
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,
science
Use synonyms
 is the study of the physical and natural to investigate the truth which starts from the question of why it happens. and how did it occur? The results of the study have been significant in improving
Correct article usage
the human's
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
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 path.
For example
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, Thomas Edison invented the electric light bulb that has been making the night no longer dark anymore. The survey by the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) reveals that the safest and fastest transportation in the world is the aeroplane which was discovered by the Wright brothers.
Overall
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, a widespread impact on modern activity has been affected by
such
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 education.
However
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,
this
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 does not mean that the bad outcome of the subject should be completely neglected. Weapons were created by advances in
science
Use synonyms
 which were used in many wars to eliminate a ton of souls.
According to
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 the BBC report, the deaths from wars and terrorism since 1914 (World War I) until 2023 have around 31 million corpses, separately in men 80 per cent, women 15 per cent, and children 5 per cent. Seeing the loss of lives that people got from the
science
Use synonyms
 by-product, it is important to regulate the control measure.
To sum up
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,
although
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 there are clear positive consequences of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education that provide a better quality of life in fast and safe transport, well-being, and long lifetime span. The negative results of it should be considered and controlled.

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clearer structure within paragraphs and overall essay organization. This can make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure an effective introduction and conclusion by succinctly presenting your main argument in the introduction and summarizing key points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen the argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing the extent of your agreement or disagreement more extensively and presenting a balanced view if you are taking a nuanced stance.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively by improving paragraph structure and using transition words to link ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points, ensuring they are directly related to your argument and adequately support your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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